Quickfire 3: Elevator Politics

Working in a hospital with 6 floors (especially as in intern) means having to use elevators at least 25-30 times a day. Its virtually a tool of the trade, having to be in so many places all the time means that getting around efficiently and comfortably has a major impact on your work day.

What annoys me the most is visitors (or even smoker patients) who share the elevators with you. Most people who work here tend to understand how the things work, and will know how to speedily get to where they're going. There are usually two call buttons, one for each direction, and common sense dictates that you press the one your require and wait patiently. Then you have those idiots who walk up after you and press the other direction too. Why? Is it because they might be going downstairs to where the staff canteen is, or where the hospital maintenance facilities are? I don't think so, they're visitors and are using the elevator to go up to the next floor (completely ignoring the stairs). They press the down button and stop a descending elevator, ask where its heading and are told its going down. And then they get on. As it goes down and comes back up again, the doors open and guess who's in there? The same idiot. What kills me is when you ask them why they do that, they answer "its faster". Faster for what exactly? Do you just enjoy being in elevators? Have you no understanding that you're delaying those going down and crowding them for no reason whatsoever?

Please, just stop coming to my workplace and annoying me. I don't come into your job and start fucking your shit up, so repay me that courtesy. Thank you.

Quickfire 2: Pride

One of the few things that keep me going during the routine days is an upcoming meal. Since most hot hospital food is usually inedible, a custom made sandwich is always a tasty option to look forward to.. sometimes as early as 9am.

Whether its at the hospital or in a deli nearby on the weekend, one of the things that really gets to me is when my sandwich is made in a sloppy fashion. I believe that, no matter what you do, you should always have pride in you work. If its your job to make sandwiches all day, then its your duty to infuse a sufficient amount of love in each one you make. It really bothers me when someone makes me an asymmetrical sandwich, or one that is light (or top-heavy) on ingredients. Either the bread isn't cut properly, or the sandwich has so much cheese on it that the rest of fillings are completely drowned out.. things like that aggravate me to no end.

I understand that making sandwiches can be tedious. It may not be your profession of choice.. you may not have grown up envisioning this for yourself.. but its still your job, and you should have some pride in what you produce. This sandwich may mean nothing to you since its one of 50 you'll be making today, but to me.. this sandwich is what I've been looking forward to all morning and is going to set the tone of the rest of my afternoon. Please don't let me down.

Quickfire 1: PCD

PCD is an acronym for two conditions that go hand in hand.

Pre-Call Depression: A feeling of loathing of life descends as you walk around the hospital all day knowing that you're not going home that night. Five o'clock comes around and people are smiling and cheerful as they walk out the door.. but all you can do is hope for a quiet night as you don your scrubs and prepare for a rough 24 hours. It usually presents with irritability and feelings of anger. Lashing out is a common symptom.

Post-Call Delirium: Lack of sleep coupled with an overworked mind lead to a delirious state. Someone once told me that being post-call is equivalent to having drank two pints of lager. Some people burst into spontaneous fits of giggles at inappropriate times while others say and do the most outlandish things. Everyone looks like absolute crap post-call. In extreme conditions when associated with a busy day, lack of food and a developing headache, it can actually escalate into a full blown migraine or a hypoglycemic attack.